17. The Closeness of Friendship

     I have this one friend. We're close; closer to each other than to anyone else. Yet we don't call ourselves "best friends." We rarely even refer to each other simply as "friends." But whatever it is that we are, it's close. I'm not even sure if it's a good relationship or a bad relationship. It just is. Perhaps it's our romantic history that keeps us from saying the word. Perhaps it's the fact that we're more similar than we'd like to admit. But upon close examination, one could see that we are one and the same.
     Aristotle talked of the philosophy of friendship. How a friend is basically another "self" - a real friend would keep you grounded. This is because we choose our friends based on their similarities to ourselves. They keep us in check. For the two of us, it's clear that we are the same person split as two separate entities. We're angsty and smart and very politically aware. We even dress similarly. We might think the same things at the same time. We talk similarly. As a matter of fact, many people think we must be related just because we're so similar in so many aspects.
     Perhaps that's just the kind of friendship that some people need. You don't need to grab a mic and tell the whole world that this is your best friend, that you've been friends for the last 5000 years. Some people don't need to be loud about it. Sometimes there is just the silent acceptance of what was meant to be. And I believe that we were meant to be close. I believe fate caused us to cross paths. And maybe we don't need a title. Just the acknowledgement of the link between our minds is enough. We help each other anytime the other needs it. We are each others shoulder to cry on, audience to rant to, and the first person either of us will call with good news. I am her, and she is me.

Aristotle: Nicomachean Ethics Summary and Analysis

16. The Matrix and Buddhism

     The Matrix is a film that is set in a dystopian future in which humans are imprisoned and harvested for energy. Humans are not actually aware of what is really happening, because what they see is known as "The Matrix." There is a group of humans who set out to rebel against the machines that imprison the human race, and enlighten humans to what has really happened to them. Neo is our protagonist. He is a hacker whose skills appeal to Morpheus, the leader of the rebellion. And Neo has to completely change his life as he discovers that everything that he had previously thought was real was in fact a lie. He has to acknowledge his suffering in order to help overcome it. And that is where the film seems to intertwine with some concepts of the Buddhist religion. The Four Noble Truths are held as the central doctrine of Buddhism. These truths deal with suffering, and the ending of suffering through the Noble Eightfold Path. In The Matrix, Neo has to acknowledge his suffering. He then has to overcome it. Neo embodies the Four Noble Truths in the course of his journey with the rebellion.

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     The first noble truth is the truth of suffering. Neo has to first realize that he is suffering under the rule of the machines. And Neo realizes the first noble truth as the members of the rebellion show him what reality is really like. He sees the humans being harvested. And he realizes that the matrix is just an illusion. That he has been ignorant to the reality of the world around him. He acknowledges that his world is imperfect, and thus acknowledges his suffering.
     The second noble truth is the origin of suffering. For Neo, the origin of suffering is ignorance. He is living in the matrix, and never questions it. He (as well as most of the other humans) likes the matrix, because it is more pleasing that the world that is run by the machines. One common explanation if this truth explains it in three parts: ignorance, attachment, and aversion. Neo is ignorant because he misunderstands the
way the world really is. He is attached to his life in the matrix. And at first, is probably fearful of the change he would experience by abandoning the matrix.
     The third noble truth is the cessation of suffering. Neo achieves this when he chooses to join the rebels. By doing so, he is choosing to acknowledge his suffering and the roots of the problem. He is then no longer suffering under the rule of the machines, and he has chosen to abandon his ignorance about the world, which is the root of his suffering.
     The fourth noble truth is the path to the cessation of suffering, known as the noble eightfold path. This consists of right understanding, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. Neo has to follow these steps in order to cease his suffering. This is the path he takes in order to correct his views of the world and change himself to fit his new life outside of the matrix. Once Neo had completed the path, the matrix could no longer cause him suffering.
     Throughout the movie, we see Neo grow as a character. From his beginnings in the matrix to the end of the movie in the resistance, Neo follows a path. In this path, he chooses to open his eyes. He chooses to acknowledge that he is suffering, and he chooses to acknowledge the root of that suffering: the matrix and all that is behind it. Once he had realized that, Neo could begin his path to cease his suffering. And throughout the events of the film, we see Neo fight against his suffering through enlightenment. There is no more denial of the truth: he realizes that he can only cease his suffering through direct acceptance. Neo is no longer ignorant. He no longer suffers because of the matrix.

15. Groundhog Day and the Five Stages of Grief

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     Groundhog Day is a film starring Bill Murray as Phil, the protagonist. Our protagonist is a weatherman who travels to a town to cover their celebration of Groundhog Day. When Phil and his crew try to leave the town, they are turned back because of a storm. The next day, Phil wakes up to see that it is Groundhog Day all over again. And this happens over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again until finally the day is saved after the perfect night with Rita. This film is, apparently, supposed to be a great example of the 5 stages of Grief as it is said to be based on the Kubler-Ross model. So here goes:

Denial: Phil experiences denial when he wakes up and sees that it is Groundhog Day again for the first time. Everything is the same as the day before, and it is clear to the viewer what is happening. But Phil is in denial, as he continually asks what day it is, and asserts that everything he is doing, he has done before.

Phil during one of his suicide attempts (source)

Anger: Phil experiences anger on more than one occasion in the movie. One time would be when he hits Ned after repeating their meeting. Another time is when he smashes the alarm clock in his hotel room, as he wakes up to the same Sonny & Cher song. He is angry at his situation, and in these instances he is taking that anger out on other people and things.
Bargaining: Phil begins to bargain his way out of the situation as he attempts to make the perfect day with Rita. It seems as though his thought process might be that if he succeeds in making Rita fall in love with him, then the day will be over. So he continues to make the perfect day in the hopes of seeing the next day.
Depression: Phil makes several attempts to end his life during the course of the film. Each time, he dies on Groundhog Day. Despite successfully committing suicide, he still wakes up in the same bed every morning, on Groundhog Day. He is feeling depressed about his situation, and the fact that nothing he does is changing it. So in his depression, he tries to end the situation for good.
Acceptance: Phil begins to accept his situation as he uses it for his own benefit. He begins piano lessons, and gets really good at it. He makes friends with every person in town. He makes honest attempts at bettering the lives of the townspeople. He even admits that there is nothing he can do about the situation. Once he accepts that he cannot change what is happening, he begins to see the bright side and do things that will really benefit him.

     And there we have it. The 5 stages of Grief as they pertain to Groundhog Day.

14. The Myth of Sisyphus as it relates to the current state of my life

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     The Myth of Sisyphus describes a man who has been punished in his death for all of eternity. Sisyphus is condemned to the underworld, where he is forced to push a large rock to the top of a mountain only to watch it fall all the way back down and be forced to perform the task all over again. You can learn more about it here.
     The Myth of Sisyphus is basically a metaphor for a persons search for meaning in their lives. Their condition is similar to that of Sisyphus - as humans, we do some variation of the same thing everyday. We are forced to work, or go to school, or perform other tasks. We do it because we have to, but we don't necessarily like it. We complain about going to school, or going to work. And we do this because we have not yet accepted or acknowledged the "futility" of what we have to do. According to the myth, we can only truly be content once we accept the absurdity of our situation.
    Right now, I feel like Sisyphus. I'm pushing a large, metaphorical rock up the mountain. I feel stuck. I live in a perpetual state of blah. And I can feel it - like when I reach the top of the mountain, I can be happy. But the rock just falls right back down again. Maybe what I need to do, is just accept my condition. Accept that every time I reach the top, I'm just going to have to go back down again. But if I could accept it, maybe the trip back up won't be so bad.

13. Frida Kahlo & Philosophy

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Friedrich Nietzsche was a German philosopher known for his outspoken nature and opinions that greatly differed from those of other well-known philosophers. Among these opinions are his controversial views on good and evil. According to Nietzsche, morality is man-made. People developed definitions of right and wrong to benefit themselves, and to define those that they consider to be "inferior" to them as bad people.  Based upon this conclusion, Nietzsche believed that what is good and what is evil is all based upon perspective.

            Frida Kahlo's painting, commonly known as "A few Small Nips," depicts a man who has stabbed his wife in a fit of rage. At first look, it is easy to say that what the man has done is evil. After all, he has just brutally murdered his wife. But according to Nietzsche, what is good and evil depends on perspective.

            Frida Kahlo painted this work after reading a story about a man who had killed his wife after she cheated on him. To the man, what his wife has done is evil. He killed her out of revenge, thereby making his deed not evil, but good. In his mind, he has not done something wrong. His wife was the one who had committed an evil act. In his mind, his deed is justified. In his mind, killing his wife was the right thing to do. He does not see his act as evil. Most people, however, would see his act as evil. They see a woman who appears defenseless, and has been stabbed multiple times. Most of us would think that the taking of a life is an evil thing to do. That is our perspective, though. The killer sees the act as good, rather than evil.

          According to Nietzsche's philosophy, good and bad are not opposites. Instead, he says they are just different. Definitions of good and evil vary. What one person believes is evil, another might see as good. Morality was created by humans, who could form it to mean whatever they wish. This then leads us to question whether the murder was actually evil, or simply the man’s definition of good.

12. The Truman Show & Philosophy

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     The movie The Truman Show tells the story of a real man in a completely made up world. Truman is real, but everything he sees is what Christof wants him to see. I think that even the subtle details of the movie have deeper meanings, and overall the movie really makes you think. We have Truman - "True Man" - Truman's name is an allusion to the fact that the only thing that is real about The Truman Show is Truman himself. Then we have Christof - "Christ of" - Christof's name describes exactly what he is. For Truman, Christof is God. Christof controls every facet of Trumans entire life. He is the creator of Truman's world, and he controls everything that happens to Truman. He has the power of a God over Truman. The part in the end of the movie, when Truman is about to leave and suddenly Christof's voice comes through the sky - that was a symbol of Christof's power as the God of Truman's life. Though I think early on, Christof must have realized that human nature would eventually lead Truman to seek the truth, and Christof could not really control that. So he manipulated Truman's life to give him this fear of water. Truman lived on an "island" - literally surrounded by water. When Christof forced into Truman a fear of water, he was ensuring that Truman would not attempt to leave the life that he had created for him. So Christof was playing God, and Truman was just living the life that Christof made for him.
     But besides random philosophical symbols within the movie, I think there is one overarching theme in the movie. I think The Truman Show is a modern way of explain Plato's Allegory of the Cave.
     Now, the Allegory of the Cave is one of my favorite themes that we've gone over this year, and I feel that of all the themes we have studied, I know this one very well. So let's start with the cave. Within the cave, there are supposed to be people holding objects before a fire. There is a group of chained up prisoners facing a wall, who cannot see the people holding the objects. All that they see are the shadows of the objects - they only see what the people want them to see. Relating this to the movie, we have Christof as the man holding up the object, and Truman as the chained up prisoner. As in the Allegory of the cave, this is the only life Truman has ever known. Christof has manipulated Truman his entire life, and only shown Truman what he wants him to see.
     In the allegory of the cave, one of the prisoners escapes to the outside world. Obviously, in the movie, Truman is the escapee. But long before that happens, there is a "light" that Truman sees that makes him begin to seek enlightenment. His first glimpse at this light is of course when the light falls down from the ceiling - no pun intended. But it all begins to come into focus as he sees his "father" and begins to notice how strange his life really is. He is beginning to suspect that someone is holding everything he has known before the fire, and now he wants to know what is behind the fire that Christof is using to manipulate him. So Truman does as the prisoner in the Allegory of the Cave does - he puts on a brave face, overcomes the storm (which seems to be the last object Christof has held in front of the fire), and makes it to the edge of his "cave." In the end, Truman finally escapes the cave he has known his whole life, in order to enlighten himself to the real world.
     So let's recap - Truman is the prisoner, Christof holds the objects in front of the fire, and Seahaven is the cave. For all of Trumans life, Christof has only shown him the shadows he wants him to see. At first, Truman is afraid to leave Seahaven (the cave) because it is everything he has ever known. But eventually, he leaves the "cave" to enlighten himself and live the life he wants to live.

11. I am an actual Marriage Counselor

     I think when you truly love a person, there isn't a thing about them that you don't love. And I mean in terms of "bad" habits or traits - it's totally ok to not love somebody's drug addiction or alcoholism - but if you really love a person, you love everything about them. Even if they do something that annoys you, you get through it. It's not a big deal, because you love that person. Feel free to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about - I'm too young to know what love "is" I suppose - but I've seen enough failed marriages and relationships in my life to see that loving a person for who they are is so important. Too many people are making themselves unhappy because they are choosing to get upset over dumb things. Things that won't be important an hour from now. Like leaving a dish in the sink. Let's not fight about the bowl. It's just a bowl. Ask them to wash it. Don't file for divorce because of the bowl. It doesn't need that kind of guilt on it's little bowl shoulders. 

     But in all seriousness, couples get too worked up over stupid things. Keep your cool. Wash the bowl, put down the toilet seat, and throw on a movie. Relax yourself. There are bigger things to worry about than whether or not it's your turn to make the bed. And I think that maybe this country would not have such a high divorce rate if people would learn to let the little things go, and work through their problems like adults. When you marry someone, you are making a contract. You have decided that this is the person that you want to spend your life with. I think that little fights over little things build up into big fights over big things. And over time, this is what overwhelms people and causes them to think that the only way we can fix things is by ending things. Which sounds really dumb, if you ask me. So maybe, when you're about to blow up over a bowl in the sink, you should be reminding yourself about why you love that person. Think about every good thing about them. Remind yourself why you're together. Maybe then you'll see that these little annoying things are really not so significant after all. And give the poor bowl a break. 

This is an excerpt from the book of Saskia. One day, I'll publish a whole book of marriage advice. Thank me later.