I think when you truly love a person, there isn't a thing about them that you don't love. And I mean in terms of "bad" habits or traits - it's totally ok to not love somebody's drug addiction or alcoholism - but if you really love a person, you love everything about them. Even if they do something that annoys you, you get through it. It's not a big deal, because you love that person. Feel free to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about - I'm too young to know what love "is" I suppose - but I've seen enough failed marriages and relationships in my life to see that loving a person for who they are is so important. Too many people are making themselves unhappy because they are choosing to get upset over dumb things. Things that won't be important an hour from now. Like leaving a dish in the sink. Let's not fight about the bowl. It's just a bowl. Ask them to wash it. Don't file for divorce because of the bowl. It doesn't need that kind of guilt on it's little bowl shoulders.
But in all seriousness, couples get too worked up over stupid things. Keep your cool. Wash the bowl, put down the toilet seat, and throw on a movie. Relax yourself. There are bigger things to worry about than whether or not it's your turn to make the bed. And I think that maybe this country would not have such a high divorce rate if people would learn to let the little things go, and work through their problems like adults. When you marry someone, you are making a contract. You have decided that this is the person that you want to spend your life with. I think that little fights over little things build up into big fights over big things. And over time, this is what overwhelms people and causes them to think that the only way we can fix things is by ending things. Which sounds really dumb, if you ask me. So maybe, when you're about to blow up over a bowl in the sink, you should be reminding yourself about why you love that person. Think about every good thing about them. Remind yourself why you're together. Maybe then you'll see that these little annoying things are really not so significant after all. And give the poor bowl a break.
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| This is an excerpt from the book of Saskia. One day, I'll publish a whole book of marriage advice. Thank me later. |
There is always pickiness in a relationship. The fact is love is there but it can go away. So once it is gone it is gone. Hate to rain on your parade, but that is fact.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. Most of the marraiges I know of ended terribly, and it's sad that people can disregard the wedding vows entirely and turn into monsters that can fight about anything. Maybe we're optimistic about the concept of marraige because we're young & haven't experienced it yet? I know I'm a patient, easy going person though so I have hope that I'll have a successful marraige.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. When you truly love someone, you love them flaws and all. I also agree with you on how its so stupid when people fight in relationships over the simplest things that won't even matter the next day.
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