10. The current state of Affairs

     Sometimes, I just have nothing to talk about. I have nothing Earth-shattering to share with you. So to fill up some space, here is a sampling of my life as of late:

Tea and soy milk - I'm not a morning person

• I have come to the conclusion that I do not like Greek Yogurt
• I just got accepted to my top choice school - I'm more excited than I sound
• I am in a state of perpetual fatigue
• Toast and Cream Cheese is my new favorite food
• I bought my cat her first girly collar for Christmas - she's such a tomboy
• I can't wait for vacation, I have never needed it more
• I started writing poetry again
• This morning, I put bread in the toaster but forgot to toast it
• I prefer soy milk in my tea
• Twilight isn't really all that bad - Thanks, Elmer
• I have become the world's biggest procrastinator lately
• Apparently, I like to talk about myself
• I'm scared to go to college because there won't be rice & beans
• My bread is done in the toaster

9. Gift-Giving for the Holidays



Took a break from shopping for the
photo booth. Like it's 2001.

Glorious gifts!

     As we all know, it is finally December. The month we've all been waiting for. Christmas is coming up, and lots of us have been out shopping for gifts - I know because every time I've gone to the stores this week, it's so packed that I have to park 5 lots away. But that is besides the point. I personally have a great obsession with shopping for my friends and family - it's my third favorite thing to do, after shopping for myself and putting clothes on my cat. I love to pick out things for people that are very personalized, based on what I've heard them say they like. I remember little details like that - you may think it's creepy that I remember that one time you mentioned that you wanted to read The Great Gatsby, but at least I'll buy something you'll like. A little bit. Maybe. Anyway, after finally coming out of my shell and acquiring not only a good group of friends, but a very sweet boyfriend as well, my list of people to shop for has grown. A lot. But I like a challenge. I may have to shrink my budget per-gift a tiny bit, but overall, I'm really excited to buy things for everyone. It makes me feel like Oprah - You get a gift! And you get a gift! - and I really like to make people happy.  Gift-giving to those close to me just makes me feel good, and those that are receiving probably don't feel too bad either...

8. Hair is an artistic expression

My Hair - June 2012

Me after the Great Haircut of 2012

    People have been using their hair as a means of expressing themselves from the beginning of human existence. Some people go all out, with pink extensions or green mohawks. Others are more subtle. Either way, hair is often an expression of the person who wears it. Often, drastic changes to the hair indicate drastic changes in mood or personality. I remember one day, in October of 2012. I had very long thick hair, that I usually wore as depicted in the photo to the left. That day, I had just been having a really bad time. It was a rough time for me, and after having a bad day, I just decided to cut my hair. I cut it to just about my shoulders - a huge change. But it was a catharsis for me. It was as if I had lifted this huge weight off of my shoulders. I felt like a new person, like I could start over. And I think that is the midset that a lot of people have when making changes to their hair - it's something different, and it makes them feel good. It's the same feeling I get when I write a poem, or paint. Hair is art, and what you do with it can say a lot about you as a person. Hair is an artistic expression, whether it is bold or subtle. I guess you could look at celebrity examples as well - celebrities like Rihanna or Lady Gaga change their hair often. They change them as they change their sound and their image. They express themselves. Your hair is your own personal work of art.

7. Weekend Blues

Romie and I about to bust our boredom

     I have a love/hate relationship with weekends. On one hand, I like the break from school. It's nice to have some time free from schoolwork and those other schooly things. On the other hand, I never get to sleep in. Never. I always get up before 7 every day. Not even on weekends. Also, I find myself bored on weekends. I mean, how many hours can I really sit in my room watching Doctor Who? I get bored. There isn't enough mental stimulation for me on the weekends. There isn't enough human contact, I guess you could say. I like school, because I can interact with a diverse group of people. On weekends, I get to interact with my cat. I mean don't get me wrong, Romie is great company. But there is more to life than cats and netflix. So I did what any sane person would do, and gathered the cat to write a list of things to do on weekends that could potentially bust the weekend blues. Here is a sampling:

1. Read that book you've been meaning to read.
If you're anything like me, you might just have a few books laying around that you haven't read. I tend to go to the bookstore and become a little overwhelmed, so I buy 2 or 3 or 11 books that I really want to read. Aaaaaand then I don't read them. They are tossed aside when I realize how much time and effort it actually takes to read them. However, I know that nothing compares to getting lost in the fantasy world of a book. There is no feeling more amazing than being immersed in the life of a character. Especially those books that are so enthralling that you read the whole thing in one night (i.e Between Shades of Grey by Ruta Sepetys. Sad story but I totally recommend.). Long story short, reading is a great boredom buster.

2. Try out a new recipe
Cooking is usually a great time, minus the clean-up afterwards. I really like to bake, and I have this collection of books with recipes for all sorts of baked goods. Only, I never really take the time to try out anything new. But on a Saturday, when you're really bored and in the mood for a double chocolate oreo cupcake, baking could seem like a great idea. Encourage your kitchen creativity, and try those recipes mate.

3. Bring out your handy-dandy notebook and write
Write a poem. Write a short story. Start a novel. Much like reading, writing allows you to immerse yourself in something new. If you find yourself bored on a Sunday afternoon, write it out...

4. Find somewhere to volunteer a few hours
Volunteering is a great way to spend your time, and the feeling of being able to help is really rewarding. I volunteer on Saturdays at the Humane Society. It's a lot of cleaning and hard work, but at the end of my shift, I get to play with the animals (We call it "socializing" so it sounds like work). I really like animals, and knowing that I am helping them to find a good home is a great feeling. Volunteering at the organization of your choice is a great way to kill your boredom for a good cause.

And there is a sampling - slay your boredom, brethren.

6. A poisonous lack of confidence

     For a lot of people, it is really easy to point out the things about themselves they don't like. We are constantly insulting ourselves, telling ourselves we are ugly or stupid or have a bad personality. The sad thing is that most of the time, these things are untrue. In this day and age, human beings are taught that self-hate is okay, and even good sometimes. It all leads to this sort of societal condition in which everyone is expected to hate themselves, and any show of confidence is dismissed as arrogance. And that is the sort of attitude that I really want to change.
     Confidence is not a bad thing. It is a wonderful thing. I really wish that people would start to recognize their own good qualities. I used to think that I was a horrible person. I was always telling myself that I wasn't good enough, so to make myself feel better, I would put others down. That is the sort of attitude that this lack of confidence leads to. People feel bad about themselves, so they try to make themselves feel better by seeing how others are worse. It's a dangerous mentality.
    At this point in my life, I am a very confident person. I made a change because my attitude was causing so much negativity in my life, and I didn't want to be like that anymore. Because I am more secure with myself, it is easy for me to see the good qualities in others. I can see that I am beautiful, and I can see that others are beautiful too. I know that I am smart, and I know that others are smart too. When you can see that you are good, and you are worthy of kindness and respect, there is a noticeable difference in how you see and treat the people around you. Start by listing the things you like about yourself. Look at that list when you feel that wave of self-doubt coming on. Confidence can only grow from there, even if you have to take a few steps back sometimes.

Click Here if you don't know where to start.
    

4. This was supposed to sound inspirational...

        Humans are strange creatures. Sometimes we're happy or excited or angry or sad and we don't know why. I had been putting off this blog post because the senior year stress has been getting to me. Well that, and mood swings are kind of just my MO. I have been in such a strange mood lately, as are most of my senior friends. I guess the whole planning-out-the-rest-of-your-life-right-now-or-you'll-die stuff has been putting a damper on our moods. I'm usually so excited to write. But stressing about the blog post upon stressing about other stuff has forced me to think about the p-word - That's "priorities" my philosophy brethren.

I wasn't kidding about the cat

     The whole world doesn't stop because you're upset. I mean, it would be really cool if it did, but things don't work that way. When people are stressed, they tend to put off the things that are stressing them out rather than taking care of it. And we all know that only makes things worse. You have to get your sh... stuff together and tackle your problems head on. And the blog post is only the tip of the iceberg here. I have to shape up and get myself in gear. I need to get my priorities in check. I have tasks to complete, and sitting in my room wallowing in self-pity is really not helping. Sometimes you just have to put on your big kid pants, sit down, grab the cat, throw on some 80's synthpop and write your blog post.

3. Writing to feel

     I'm a writer. I've been a writer for as long as I can remember. I read at an early age, and developed a love for writing at an early age as well. I remember when I was five and just learning to write, I used to describe everything with such immense detail. You could give me a leaf, and I'd spend an hour detailing the lines and the colour just so I could get the description perfect on paper. I thought every last detail was important.
     When I was in third grade, I started to write short stories. I loved super heroes, but none of them were girls. I made my own. I wrote about the adventures of my female super heroes, and how they saved the world and beat the villains, then came home right in time to tuck their children into bed. I was eight years old, and I promised myself then that I would never write a love story because they were dumb and only fantasy. I could write about super heroes, but in my childish mind love was too far-fetched.
     When I entered fifth grade, I developed a love for poetry. I loved writing what I wanted to write without really saying it. Here enters my love of detail again. I always had a thesaurus out, trying to find prettier ways of saying things because some words just sound so plain. I didn't want blue eyes, I wanted eyes the colour of the ocean as it was just coming out of it's winter slumber. In fifth grade, I learned that the world wasn't so perfect as it had always seemed. My mind wasn't so childish anymore. I experienced pain, and it changed me as it changed my writing. I wrote from the depths of my soul, and produced writing that was so immature yet so full of sadness it could only come from a child in pain. It was vulnerable because that's what I was then.
     In the middle of sixth grade, I moved to Lowell. I had been living in the same house and going to the same school with the same kids until then. It was a new environment and a totally new system of social conduct that I hadn't quite learned to conform to. I had pale skin and rosy cheeks and blond curls that I hadn't yet learned to control. I cried every day because I couldn't understand why these kids were so mean to me. They weren't like my old friends. It was a different kind of life in the city and I didn't know how to handle it then. So I wrote. I wrote every day about everything, and writing helped me to see the world as beautiful again.
     I hit another rough patch in high school. I was fifteen and thought I knew the world, but I was so wrong. I couldn't have imagined that then. I was angry at nothing and everything at the same time, and I stopped writing because it was all a reminder of the girl I used to be. I was desperately trying to run from that girl for reasons still unknown. I picked up my pen again one day, and I revived her. I found my strength again as soon as pen hit paper. I swear it's the most empowering thing.
    I always have people ask me why I write. It's a difficult question with no satisfying answer. But I don't write for nothing. I don't write to shock people, and I don't write to impress anyone. I don't write to please people. I write because I want to. I write because I need to. I write to feel.

Help Free your Inner Writer

2. Multiracial Problems

     To start off, yes I am multiracial. I am a Caribbean Mestizo/Mixed European hybrid. I usually just say that I'm Puerto Rican and Dutch, because it is much simpler to explain. All my life, people have had questions about my ethnic identity. To an extent, I understand the curiosity. I have an unusual name, and unusual physical features. I truly don't mind answering questions. In fact, I love educating people about my mixed race heritage. But sometimes, it seems as though everyone wants to throw their opinions, stereotypes, and intrusive questions at me. It gets tiring feeling as though I need to explain myself all the time. I'm not some sort of museum exhibit, I am a human being. I would really appreciate being treated like one.
     For example, the other day I was out with my mother and sister. My mother is about 4'11" with super curly dark hair and dark skin. My sister is a little shorter, with dark skin but super straight hair. I am a little taller with light skin and lighter hair. I can fully acknowledge that we all look very different. However, that gave no excuse for a stranger to ask my mother "Are these both your children?" My mother, puzzled by the sudden question, answered "Of course" and then turned to continue her shopping. The lady then continued with "well how did that happen?" Do you see where I'm going with this? That is extremely rude. My family is none of this lady's business. But she acted as if it were, just because we look different. And things like that happen all the time. I wonder how people of one race would feel if I went up to them and asked about the lack of cultural diversity in their family. Yeah, that would be pretty rude, right?
     Another thing that bothers me is when people try to indirectly find out about my culture instead of just asking what they want to ask. For example, when people see my name, their first instinct is to ask me where I'm from. To be honest, it makes me happy to see their puzzled faces when I tell them I'm from New Hampshire. That's because in their heads, they've already formed an answer. They see my name, and recognize that it's unusual. They make the assumption that I *must* be foreign. It's all based on the name. I know that when people ask me where I'm from, what they're really wondering is "How did you end up with this name that I've never heard before?" And I really would prefer that they just asked me that, because it gives me a chance to explain my culture. I could just give in and tell them that I'm Dutch and leave it at that. But I'm a wonderful mix of vibrant cultures, so why would I limit myself to just one for the comfort of an ignorant person?
     As someone who is mixed race, I hate the feeling that I have to coddle people and gently explain myself to everyone. I never want to be rude to people, but it's very difficult when people are so rude to me. I'm not the white person's guide to the world of minorities, or vice versa. You don't get to assign me a culture because my own makes you uncomfortable. I'm comfortable being what I am, and I would love to answer your questions. But treat me like a person and not an exhibit.
   

1. A Fat-Shaming Reality Check

     So I was really planning to make my first post a sort of a get-to-know-me type of thing. I was going to write about my ideas and opinions and really make a great first impression. But recently, I've witnessed a barrage of ignorance about body shapes, so I figured I would offer a reality check instead.

Source

     There is a lot of hate directed at obese people, which seems a little hypocritical considering we are literally living in one of the fattest nations in the world. You would think that in America, people would be much more accepting. But they aren't. All over the place, online and in real life, I see people making the most ignorant and hateful statements about people whose only crime is daring to exist while fat. I have heard people say that fat people are disgusting, are bringing up our healthcare costs (not actually true), and I have even heard some go so far as to say that fat people should not be allowed to exist. I mean, what I would really like to know is how the body of someone else affects your life so profoundly that you feel the need to be so hateful? Seriously, what is your problem? If fat people are such a bother to you, then you should probably just sit down for a moment and reevaluate your life. No one is asking for your opinion.
     Another thing that really bothers me is when someone who is fat shaming claims that they "are only concerned for their health." This is really problematic for several reasons. First of all, nobody has asked for your advice in the first place. It is not your place to tell someone how they should be living their life. Also, fat does not mean unhealthy. There are plenty of people who are fat and get plenty of exercise, and eat perfectly healthy. Sometimes, that's just how somebody's body looks. If you believe there is such a thing as "naturally skinny," then why is "naturally fat" such a far fetched idea? And even if they are eating "unhealthy," it is still absolutely none of your business. Nobody has to justify their existence to anybody else. Would you be complaining if a skinny person was eating oreos? I don't think so.
     The bottom line is that people are people, and fat people are deserving of the same respect as anybody else. If your opinion is anything other than that, do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself.